Finding Yourself.

Perhaps the worst thing to happen after a big change/ event, is that with the "anti-climax" I always find myself, changed slightly, unsure on how to go on, unsure how to go back. So I'm stuck in this limbo where for the moment, I'm just "here", with no clue in "who" I'm at that point in time. And so, I do what any person would do ( a.k.a just me) and google it. What comes up when I searched this, was perhaps an understatement to the word "interesting." A cluster of results ranging in medical conditions, to angry Yahoo answers. Except for one... a small page on "Trying to find yourself." And this is when the chord struck.
Having just come out of a serious relationship, where we were constantly with each other 24/7, experiencing highs and lows, from renting our first house together to our first real bust up, both of us not really knowing how to deal with it. And so when the relationship naturally came to an end, I suddenly found myself at loss. I suddenly didn't have my best friend with me anymore, the person that I built a life and discovered so many new things with. It was like every hobby I had been enjoying, was now "ours" Something that during this time, I didn't want to do, or experience. which of course leads me to feel as I did. As I sometimes still do.

Reading through the article, that I found, however, made me realise something very important. Which I hope you don't mind me sharing with you guys? That at this in this point in time, you shouldn't be trying to look back, trying to be the "person you were before" because that's simply not the direction you're going in...The trick is to look forward, not mourning what you've lost, but coming to terms with it, and with that, learning to appreciated and value, your "new self". However, when I say your "new self" I don't mean that you've completely changed, along with a dodgy haircut from Sal around the corner and suddenly an all black wardrobe.No, what I mean is, at this stage, it's all about discovery again, so just let yourself discover, without trying to be something that you were or weren't. Pick up a hobby that you once loved, blast out the Disney anthems that you totally rock, meet new people, go to new places. I know that as I'm going through this, I'm considering doing things, that before, I wasn't interested in, such as travelling alone or attending "massive" gigs, finding that at this moment it doesn't bother me as much as it used to.And that's okay, it's a new side to my character that I'm learning. In the end, we all end up like fictional characters, you never know when the next plot twist is, right? 

So, I guess the reason I wanted to write this post, isn't because I wanted the attention though you all know how much I love the drama. It's mainly because I wanted to reassure myself, and others who perhaps going through the same, that these changes happening in this period, are okay, and it's okay to be scared of them! But, It's just important to remember that we're are essentially going through "character development" And that's not to say that we're not "us" but we're just getting better *Insert sassy hair flick*  So go do things that you've never dreamed of doing before, or go and find that that favourite TV series and binge on it all day. Just reconnect with yourself again, take this time for yourself, and be as possibly selfish as you can.  But just remember, you're never alone, and you're always going forward, even if you don't know it yet.

Love Indie x